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Ironic Times

 NO. 1213 “Expect the Ironic” JANUARY 1 - 7, 2024 

Dec 25
Jan 8
WORLD WELCOMES IN 2024
With fear and loathing.
 
WORLD NEWS
Russia: “Almost Naked”
Celebrity-Filled Party During
Wartime Sparks Outrage

A furious Putin demands to know who's responsible and why he wasn't invited.
Paris: Krispy Kreme
Opens to Long Lines

Michelin Guide, Le Cordon Bleu say they're “getting out of the business.”
 
U. S. NEWS
New Laws Take Effect
in Many States

But they won't apply to you unless you're pregnant, poor, or wish to vote.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
Maine Drops Trump From Ballot
Trump voters urged to move to Michigan.
(Once again we turn to our panel of psychics, seers and soothsayers for a look ahead at the new year.)
Kandu: “There will be no big surprises, and that will result in worldwide panic.”
Madame Blavinsky: “Earth will be visited by extraterrestrials, who will hit all the trendy spots and leave.”
Cassandra: “It will be the hottest year in recorded history. Lather, rinse, repeat.”
Nostradamus: “The Russian bear and the Asian elephant will form an alliance with the Egyptian camel and the Australian platypus, and the zoo will be closed for two weeks.”
Tiresias: “Trump will defeat Biden, who will hire Trump's old fake electors to act as his fake electors, and Biden will be sworn in as president.”
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