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 AMERICA
IS # 1 IN BODY FAT
Nation credits fat-rich
diet, labor-saving devices,
emphasis on watching, sitting. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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U.S. Renews Pledge to Go After
States That Harbor Terrorists
Britain, France, Canada prepare to be
bombed. |
|
Europe Converts to the Euro
Argentina converts to the Zero. |
|
Franc, Lira, Deutschmark
On the Way Out
Most will be tossed into fountains. |
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| MILESTONES |
|
Giuliani Named "Person
of the
Year" by Time
Magazine
Receives similar honor from Adulterers'
Quarterly. |
| |
| ALSO IN THE NEWS |
|
New
"Ugly" Portrait
of Queen Elizabeth
Receiving Heavy Criticism
Many blame the
photographer. |
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|
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| U. S. NEWS |
|
Retailers Try Giving Products
Away
But shoppers won’t take them. |
|
Congress Votes Itself a
$4900 Pay Raise
"We deserve it," said one
senator who asked not to be identified. |
|
Routine Gov't Work Proceeds
Despite War
Administration goes about mundane task of
overturning every law passed during
previous Administration. |
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REMINDER
Don’t drink and drive and use a
cell phone. |
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Oklahoma Finishes Ahead of
Texas in Executions for 2001
But Texas finishes higher in the BCS standings.
|
|
Supreme Court Releases
Annual Blooper Reel
Outtakes, goof-ups from last session
airs Friday on Fox. |
| |
| ENVIRONMENT |
|
Last Parcel of Wilderness
Sold to Developers
Wilderness Society reluctantly disbands. |
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