| ENTERTAINMENT |
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Naked News
Comes to Bulgaria
"Sure beats
Communism," says one
viewer. |
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TV: Unscripted, Mindless
Low-Brow
Fare Dominated in 2001
Networks hope trend continues in 2002. |
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Miss America Pageant
Moving to Canada
Better business climate, nicer people,
prettier girls cited. |
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| HIGH TECH |
|
New Online Chat Program
Translates E-mails Into Voices
Makes possible two-way real-time vocal
communication between distant locations. |
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| SPORTS |
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Baseball Owners Pleading
Poverty
One says he’s living in his car. |
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| PEOPLE |
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Bin Laden
Granted Asylum in Mordor
"He is
evil," says Lord
Sauron, "but I have
no problem with
that." |
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| While
coverage of the terrorist attacks
and Operation Enduring Freedom
dominated the news, some events
took place "under the
radar" of the major media. |
 On October 4th,
by the same 5-4 vote which made him
President, the Supreme Court
named George W. Bush
"President-for-Life." |
 November 10:
Secretary of the Interior Gail
Norton renamed the Arctic
National Wildlife Refuge the
Arctic National Oil Drilling
Sanctuary. |
 Federal
Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan
issued an edict on September 24th
returning the nation to the gold
standard. |
 Enron CEO
Kenneth Lay held up the First
Bank of Dallas on December 9th,
wounding a security guard and
escaping with $35 million in
small bills. |
 Senator Jim
Jeffords, ex-Republican, now
Independent, was kidnapped from
his office on November 22nd, and
is being held at an undisclosed
location while he reconsiders his
party affiliation. |
 Senator
Strom Thurmond celebrated his
99th birthday on December 4th,
and then eloped with his
15-year-old fifth cousin four
times removed, Zelda Mae
Thurmond. |
 Nicole
Kidman and Rep. Gary Condit were
married on December 6th in a
private ceremony on Maui, and
divorced three days later in
Reno, Nevada. |
 In another
5-4 ruling on November 16th, the
Supreme Court voided the first
ten amendments to the
Constitution. |
 In a
little-noticed move on September
18th Congress adjourned for the
year. |
Dick Cheney
died on October 28th, was  buried
two days later in Texas or
Arizona, rose from the dead the
following weekend, and returned
to his undisclosed location where
he is undergoing more medical
tests. |
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