BIDEN DROPS
OUT OF RACE
Won't rule out another run in four years. |
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WORLD NEWS |
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Massive IT Outage Causes
Global Chaos
Many seek shelter in caves,
forage for survival, turn to
cannibalism before service
finally restored. |
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ENVIRONMENT |
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Melting of Polar Ice Caps
Slowing Earth's Rotation,
Making Days Longer
Giving all of us a little extra time
to get going each morning. |
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ALSO IN THE NEWS ... |
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Trump Nominated
as Republican Convention Ends
Shown: Hulk Hogan leads delegates
in prayer. |
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U. S. NEWS |
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Many of His Supporters Believe
God Saved Trump at Rally
But apparently didn't care for several
other people in the front row. |
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Sen. Menendez Found Guilty
of Bribery, Extortion, Wire Fraud,
Conspiracy, Acting as Foreign Agent
And using U.S. Treasury gold bars
as doorstops. |
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REMINDER |
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Vote for the candidate least
likely to turn the United
States into an authoritarian
kleptocracy. |
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Trump Says He'll Protect
Black Jobs
You can't get a shoeshine
anymore! he complains. |
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POLITICS |
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Musk Pledges
$45 Million a Month to Trump Campaign
Wants to make Mars great again. |
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