Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JULY 22 - 28, 2024
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TECHNOLOGY
Chinese Nuclear Reactor Proves to Be Meltdown-Proof
And as long as no one notices trucks loaded with nuclear waste leaving facility late at night, it could be answer to world's clean energy needs.
 
LAW
Report: White House Mulls
Supreme Court Term
Limits, Code of Ethics

Analysis: chance of getting proposal through Congress slightly better than passing camel through eye of needle.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
For Third Consecutive
Presidential Election, Trump
Falsely Claims He Was Named
“Michigan Man of the Year”

Turns out he was once named “Meshugana of the Year” in a Detroit Yiddish newspaper.
Joint Federal Committee
Concludes “Nothing to
Indicate Visits From Aliens,
Extraterrestrials”

They have not ruled out time travelers.
FEATURE
Currently, the unemployment rate in the United States is 4.1%, considerably below the long-term average of 5.69%. According to Harper's Index, what percentage of voters believes that unemployment is at an all-time high?
   A )  5%  
   B )  10%  
   C )  15%  
   D )  50%  
Hint: somebody's not getting out the word.
 
SPORTS
Olympics: Seine May Be Too Polluted for Swimming, Rowing Events
But not for sport of Dredging, in its Olympics debut.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Judge Aileen Cannon Throws Out Trump Classified Documents Case
Calls 1-800-GOT-JUNK before Jack Smith can file an appeal.

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