Ironic Times

 NO. 254 "Expect the Ironic" JULY 25 - 31, 2005  

July 18
Aug 1
 
  SUMMER HEATWAVE FORCES RELAXATION OF DRESS CODES
Shown: workers on Wall St. keep cool by doffing coats, ties.
 
WORLD NEWS
Condoleezza Rice Blames
Syria for Iraq Violence

“Yeah...it's Syria's fault, that's the ticket!” she explains.
 
MILITARY
Questions Raised About Army's
New Microwave Weapon

Mainly, how to get enemy on the little carousel.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Security Tightened on Most Mass Transit Systems
In New York, bomb-sniffing dogs were placed on all buses and subways.
U. S. NEWS
Pentagon Report: Things
Going Well in Iraq

No further details provided.
Court: Military Panel Can
Try Bin Laden's Chauffeur

But not his hairstylist.
House Votes to Extend Patriot Act, Curbing Civil Liberties
Considers I Love America Act, which would eliminate them completely.
 
REMINDER
   Every cloud has a mercury lining.
 
Army Asks Congress to Raise Top Recruitment Age from 35 to 42
Lower bottom IQ score from 42 to 35.
NRA Pulls Convention From
Columbus, Ohio Due to City's
Assault Weapons Ban

Will move event to Baghdad.
New National Counterterrorism Center Unveiled
Main operations room can monitor up to 300 anti-war, pro-choice, environmental groups simultaneously.
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