 PUSH ON FOR POLE
DANCING AS AN OLYMPIC SPORT
IOC says it's between pole dancing and lap dancing. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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New Canadian Fifty, Hundred Dollar Bills
Melt When Exposed to Heat
But they're fine for Canada. |
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More Than Half of Under-25 Spanish
Youth Unemployed
Even though they could be making good
money selling their bodies to sex tourists. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS |
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 Kim Jong-Un
Seen at Public Functions With Unidentified Woman
Experts say she could be his girlfriend, his
sister, his wife, his mother, his
cousin, his aunt or simply his muse. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Bad News: Worst Drought
Since Dust Bowl
Good news: more Woody Guthrie. |
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Bernanke: We're Headed
Over “Fiscal Cliff”
In chicken wire canoe. |
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| REMINDER |
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Guns don't kill people, paranoid
schizophrenics who legally purchase guns kill people. |
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For First Time, Canadians Worth
More Than Americans
Because Justin Bieber now worth more
than Lady Gaga. |
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California Legalizes Hands-Free
Texting While Driving
Also ventriloquism, psychokinesis. |
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| ENVIRONMENT |
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Iceberg Twice the Size of Manhattan
Breaks Off From Greenland
And what parking! |
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