| PEOPLE |
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 Statue of
Joe Paterno Removed
Shipped to Fallen Idols Museum in Akron, Ohio. |
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| INTERNET |
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YouTube Now Allows Faces to Be Blurred
to Thwart Face-Recognition Technology
For those times when you have an important interview
and you don't want your prospective boss to recognize
you in your sex tape. |
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| BUSINESS |
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Walmart Heirs Have as Much Wealth
As Bottom 40% of Americans Combined
Also known as their customers. |
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 New
Tablet Safe for Christians Introduced
For example, when you search for porn films,
it redirects you to Christian-themed porn films. |
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| ENTERTAINMENT |
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Emmy Nominations Announced, But
Public Focused Elsewhere
With good reason, most Americans
now only watch The Weather Channel. |
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| OLYMPICS |
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London: With Olympics Near, Security
Breaches at Heathrow Have Authorities Worried
Inexperienced airport personnel allow modern
pentathlon team from “Talibania”
to enter country. |
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| SCIENCE |
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Human Genome May Contain Proof of
Man's Cannibalistic Past
One chromosome has origins in period before
chickens appeared. |
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Apples Modified Genetically So
They Never Turn Brown
Soon we'll be able to get ourselves genetically
modified so we never turn grey. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Study: Children Who Live With Dogs
Get Sick Less Often Than Children Who Don’t
Dogs will also help dispose of food fussy kids
won’t eat. |
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