DEAR READER: Ironic Times is on hiatus. We will return
on August 18th. Please enjoy this Special Edition featuring material from the first six months of
the year. The Editors |
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HIGHLIGHTS OF
2014 (January - June) |
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Colorado
Marijuana Stores Open
Lines extend to Nebraska. |
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UN Panel: 15 More Years
Without Action on Climate
Change Could Be Catastrophic
Doubters: let's wait fifteen years and see. |
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113th Congress Least
Productive Ever
Signature achievement: repealed
Affordable Care Act 40 times. |
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Federal Court Overturns Net Neutrality
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In Book, Former Secretary of
Defense Gates Calls Vice
President Biden Clueless
Biden: What's that supposed to mean? |
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Walmart Recalls Donkey Meat From
Stores in China After Product Found
to Contain Fox Meat
Also recalls fox meat found to contain donkey meat. |
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List Whittled Down to 1000 Eligible
Applicants for One-Way Trip to Mars
Eliminated: old, infirm, anyone who
plays the banjo, harmonica or accordion. |
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300 Wealthiest Individuals on Earth
Have $3.7 Trillion
They meet once a year in a strip mall
in the Cayman Islands, where they all
have post office boxes. |
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Insane Clown Posse Sues Justice
Dept. Over Gang Designation
Claim it's deprived them of their livelihood,
entertaining at children's birthday parties. |
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UN Report Accuses
Kim Jong Un of Crimes Against Humanity
List includes executions, purges, torture,
rape, and putting Dennis Rodman back in
the news. |
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Markets Plummet Across Globe
Investors panic on rumor capitalism nothing more
than a pyramid scheme. |
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Report: Human Body Not
Prepared for Life in Outer Space
Prepared for life on comfy couch watching movies
about outer space. |
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Hundreds Sickened on Cruise Ship
CDC still trying to identify source of illness
on Royal Caribbean's Salmonella Islands Tour. |
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GOP Unveils Its Blueprint
on Immigration
Offers those here illegally, after satisfying certain
benchmarks, a clear path to deportation. |
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Kraft Recalls 2 Million Kraft
Velveeta Cheesy Skillet Dinners
Over Labeling Error
Product fails to state clearly that eating Kraft
Velveeta Cheesy Skillet dinner regularly will
kill you. |
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Olympics:
Visitors to Sochi Complain About Facilities
For security reasons, no one allowed in
restrooms alone. |
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