 IT'S ROMNEY BY
A HAIR
And a little dab of Brylcreem. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Taliban Making Peace Offers
Would end war if all kite flying is again banned,
all art is destroyed and women return to their
homes and stay there. |
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U.S. to Sell 84 Advanced
Fighter Jets to Saudi Arabia
Less advanced than jets sold to Israel, more
advanced than jets sold to Iran. |
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Coca-Cola Accounts for 40% of
Swaziland's GDP
Absolute monarchies go better with Coke. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS . . . |
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 Iran Tests
Missile That Could Reach Israel
For peaceful purposes, says spokesman. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Good News: Unemployment Rate
Drops to 8.5%
Bad news: employment rate drops to 8.5%. |
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Ohio Earthquakes Linked to Fracking
Company responsible says ground shook
because of too many regulations. |
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| REMINDER |
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You've already broken all your
new year's resolutions. |
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Obama Signs Defense Bill Allowing
Indefinite Detention of Americans
But only those who are obvious troublemakers. |
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| POLITICS |
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Romney's National GOP Popularity
Still Stuck at 25%
Only one of his four sons supports him. |
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Santorum: America Needs a Jesus
Candidate
He nearly drowns trying to walk across Lake Erie. |
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