 SECRETARY OF
STATE-
DESIGNATE RICE
MAKES SURPRISE
VISIT TO IRAQ
Drops 500-pound bomb on
“safehouse.” |
|
| |
| WORLD NEWS |
 |
Officials: Iraq Election Will
Take
Place on January 30th
Just not in Iraq. |
|
Report: European Drug Dealers
No Longer Using Dollar
Euro “less prone to speculative
fluctuation,” says man named Raoul. |
| |
| EDUCATION |
|
Administration Counters
Charges of Underfunding No Child Left
Behind
Points to $240,000 paid to TV
journalist to praise program on his show. |
| |
| ALSO IN THE NEWS . . . |
| |
 Inauguration
Ball Gift Packages
Creating Positive Buzz
Alberto Gonzales thumb
screw cufflinks (right)
most popular. |
|
|
| U. S. NEWS |
|
General Says Temporary 30,000
Troop Increase Will Be Extended
But only until it becomes permanent. |
|
U.S. Still Leads Other Nations in
Major Communications Industry
Forty-two percent of all junk e-mails
originate here. |
|
D.C. to Build Baseball Stadium
Will replace landmark Capitol building,
already slated for demolition. |
| |
REMINDER
Abstain from sex, unless it's needed
to elicit actionable intelligence. |
|
|
| |
|
Iraq War Yields Unexpected Bonus
Fraction of college students who can locate
Iraq, Iran, Syria, Jordan, Saudi Arabia on
world map goes from 1% to 1.5%. |
|
Congress' Bipartisan Civility
Retreat Canceled
After meeting to plan menu ends in brawl. |
| |
| LIFESTYLE |
|
55-Year-Old Woman Gives
Birth to Her Own Grandchildren
And already they don't come to see her. |
|
