 WHITE HOUSE RELEASES
TRUMP 2020 CALENDAR
Each month his head's photoshopped on
a different actor or bodybuilder. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Trump Reopens Talks
With Taliban
After they agree to investigate Bidens. |
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| POLITICS |
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Iowa: Biden Embarks on
“No Malarkey” Bus Tour
Short of campaign funds, he's doing the driving. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS ... |
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 Prince Charles
Pleads With Prince Andrew to “Get
Dressed, Come Inside”
After he disrobes in Queen's Garden
revealing massive tribal tattoo he
“honestly can't remember getting.” |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Poll: Majority of Republicans
Say Trump Better President
Than Lincoln
Or “Little Abe” as Trump calls him. |
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President Puts Kushner
In Charge of Border Wall
Added to negotiating Middle East peace,
streamlining government, overseeing
space program and conducting foreign
policy he should have some time on
Tuesday mornings. |
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| REMINDER |
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What did the president know, and when
did he start tweeting about it? |
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Trump Has Spent $115 Million
On Golf Trips While in Office
Government's spent more on his golf tees
than it's spent fighting opioid addiction. |
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 Rick Perry
Calls Donald Trump “The Chosen
One Sent by God”
Sent here to pardon him. |
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