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BUSH TO SEND 100,000 HOLIDAY
SHOPPERS TO IRAQ
Will help troops push, shove, trample
Saddam loyalists. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Report: Saudis Intend to
Purchase Nuclear Weapons
As party favors. |
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North Korea Agrees to Delay
Launching World War III
If other nations ask really nicely. |
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| BUSINESS |
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Responding to Complaints, Dell
Moves Tech Support From India
To Texas, Idaho, Tennessee
Where calls will be fielded by
Bangladeshis. |
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| MISCELLANEOUS |
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First Map of Internet
Published
You are here (arrow). |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Insurance, Pharmaceutical
Companies Criticize Medicare Bill
Although it gives them billions in
subsidies while the poor and elderly pay
more, there are “several grammatical
errors,” says a spokesman. |
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Millions Pour in to Bush
Re-Election Drive
Billions in Iraq reconstruction contracts
pour out. |
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REMINDER
Somewhere in the world
is your exact
double who has stolen
your identity. |
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FBI Not Using War on Terror
as “Cover” for Spying on
Demonstrators
Doing it “strictly for fun,”
says spokesman. |
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Tough New Bill Cracks Down
On All Kinds of Spam
Except for penile enhancement products,
fake university diplomas, and
anything from Nigeria. |
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| ENVIRONMENT |
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Bush Wants to Open National
Forests to Timber Industry to
Prevent Fires
Also: would fill Grand Canyon with toxic
waste to prevent people from falling in. |
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