CRIMEANS VOTE TO
JOIN RUSSIA, SECEDE
Reject alternative (Secede, Join Russia). |
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WORLD NEWS |
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World on Brink of Another Cold War
Three new Bond films greenlighted. |
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Canada Questions Whether Erotic TV Has
Required 35% Canadian Content
After studying actors' accents in over 1200 porn films. |
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Kim Jong Un Reelected
With 100% of Vote
Loser could not be reached for comment. |
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ALSO IN THE NEWS ... |
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Pole-Dancing
Robots Could Presage Future of
Live Entertainment
Nightclubs featuring sexy robots performing for
humanoids arriving in
driverless cars. |
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U. S. NEWS |
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Feinstein: CIA Broke Into Senate
Computers to Thwart Torture Investigation
And made a mess of her iTunes playlist. |
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Number of American Millionaires Nearly 10 Million
And you're one Powerball win away from joining them. |
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REMINDER |
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Ask your pot dispensary if they accept bitcoins. |
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Millennials Present Problems for Economy's Future
They don't drive, they don't shop, they don't travel and they don't work. |
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POLITICS |
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Analysis: GOP Split by Generational Divide
Old guard opposes same-sex marriage, abortion,
legalizing marijuana, immigration reform, affirmative
action, food stamps, Medicare, Medicaid, social
security, taxes and any programs to help the poor;
young guard disagrees with them on pot. |
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