RIDGE
HELD UP
A red-faced Head of
Homeland Security is
robbed outside his home. |
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U. S. NEWS |
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Bush: "We Will Reduce the
Nucular Arsenal"
"But not the nuclear
arsenal," an aide clarifies. |
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Norton Predicts Drilling in
Alaska Will Create 700,000 Jobs
100 to drill for oil, 699,900 to bury the
caribou. |
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WORLD NEWS |
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Survey: Half the World
Undernourished
The other half obese. |
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Bush Building Coalition Unity
Nearly everybody against invading Iraq. |
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Israelis, Palestinians Wipe
Each Other Out
Only peacekeepers remain. |
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Mugabe Wins in Zimbabwe
Credits victory to whistle-stop campaign
of terror. |
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U.S. Named to Iraq's
Axis of Evil
Great Britain, Israel round out group. |
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SHADOW PRESIDENT
Henry A. Visconti, 53, b.
Fort Worth, Texas. No
other information is
available at this time. |
SHADOW VICE PRESIDENT
Ollan Parr, 67,
b. Detroit, Michigan. Once
ran a lumber company. |
SHADOW SECRETARY OF STATE
Michael S. Cravelle, 60,
n/a. Private
investigator. |
SHADOW SECRETARY
OF DEFENSE
n/a. |
SHADOW SPEAKER OF
THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES
Newt Gingrich, 58, b.
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.
Politician, lecturer. |
(Information provided by
Shadow Government
Printing Office.) |
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