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Ironic Times

 NO. 831 “Expect the Ironic” SEPTEMBER 5 - 11, 2016 

Aug 29
Sep 12
TRUMP MEETS WITH MEXICAN PRESIDENT NIETO
Learns Mexican Tunnel Workers Union strongly supports his plan to build great wall.
 
WORLD NEWS
Pope Francis Canonizes Mother Teresa
Cheers go up from vendors selling Saint Teresa t-shirts, jewelry, velvet paintings.
European Poll: Right-Wingers
Most Likely to Be Satisfied
With Their Sex Lives

Right wingers' partners least satisfied.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
Spain: Revelers Pelt Each Other With Tomatoes at Annual “Tomatina”
While Friends of Tomatoes protest nearby.
U. S. NEWS
Early Voting Already Underway in Some States
So far, Jeb Bush holds a comfortable lead.
Federal Gun-Tracking Center
Can't Be Computerized, by Law

Because computers will never replace carbon paper, microfilm.
 
REMINDER
  Wear sunscreen, or a burkini.
 
Direct Flights to Cuba Resume
For First Time Since 1961

You can now purchase that 1951 De Soto of your dreams.
Obama Commutes Man's Life Sentence for Selling LSD
Says he has only fond memories of his own acid dealer.
 
POLITICS
Report: Russian Hackers Broke Into Two States' Voting Systems
Could become first hackers to serve in Congress.
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