 COURT FINES BP
$17 BILLION FOR “MAKING DECISIONS BASED
ON MONEY, NOT SAFETY”
Which, as it happens, is BP's official motto. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Al Qaeda Plans Expansion Into India
Hopes to increase brand recognition as
ISIS moves into its territory, takes over
its franchises. |
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| POLL |
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Majority of Conservatives
Don't Like Soccer
Fear it leads to socialized medicine. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS ... |
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 Laser Tattoos to
Replace Stick-on Fruit Labels
Prevents people from tearing off labels,
then forgetting what kind of fruit it is. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Report: Healthcare.gov Hacked
Intruders obtained affordable health insurance. |
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Minutemen Name Anti-Illegal Immigration
Plan “Operation Normandy”
They'll station hundreds of Minutemen at border, just
like at Normandy, when brave Nazis fought off illegal
American troops. |
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| REMINDER |
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The enemy of my enemy's
enemy is the friend of my enemy. |
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Experts: Fake Cellphone Towers
Spotted Around Country Not
Part of Any Network
Sophisticated signal interceptors able to
monitor all our calls probably “the
work of some kids,” they surmise. |
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| TECHNOLOGY |
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New Software Developed That Detects
When You're Not Paying Attention
Hello, anyone home? |
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