 TRUMP SIGNS LOYALTY PLEDGE
To “bunch of losers.” |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Russian Town Invaded, Ruled
by Hungry Bears
Putin headed for Luchegorsk with
reality TV crew, AK-47. |
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Canada Falls Into Recession
But money from abroad should start to flow
again when hockey season begins. |
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Poll: Scotland Now Favors
Independence After Voting
Against It Just Last Year
Country “wee bit” more nationalistic this year. |
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 Angry Farmers Block Paris
Streets With 1500 Tractors
Local officials wonder how they're going to keep
them down on the farm, “after they've seen Paree.” |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Kentucky Clerk Goes to Jail
Rather Than Issue Marriage
License to Gay Couple
Says she only listens to God, and her fourth husband. |
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Jobless Numbers Down Again
As more Ph.D.'s find work washing dishes. |
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| REMINDER |
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Don't take any wooden yuans. |
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Study: Traffic at Worst Level
In 30 Years
Drivers urged to honk louder, more often. |
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| POLITICS |
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 Scott
Walker Calls for Wall
Along Canadian Border
Paid for by Canadian pharmaceutical
companies. |
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 Santorum First
Candidate to Visit All 99 Iowa Counties
In one day. |
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