TRUMP TWEETS PIC OF HIMSELF
EATING TACO BOWL TO
CELEBRATE CINCO DE MAYO |
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| Not shown: tweets “I love Jews!” while
eating kishke to celebrate Holocaust Remembrance Day. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Since Becoming President in 2014,
Turkey’s Recip Erdogan Has Filed
1,845 Criminal Complaints Against
People for “Insulting the President”
Typical insult: “He's too thin-skinned.” |
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China Warns Against Foreign Don Juans
Who Are Really Spies
Like James Bond. |
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| POLITICS |
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Republican Party in Turmoil as
Two Groups Vie for Control
Battle pits religious xenophobic racists against
racist religious xenophobes. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Trump Reveals Ambitious Plans
for First 100 Days in Office
Experts call it most ambitious first 100 days
since President Rufus T. Firefly. |
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At Least 23 People Shot by
Toddlers This Year
NRA: only way to stop a bad toddler with
a gun is a good toddler with a gun. |
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| REMINDER |
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You're only as old as your most
recent driver's license picture. |
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Poll: Over Half of U.S. Teens
Report Feeling “Addicted” to
Smartphones
Other half in denial. |
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Bad News: 47,000 Homeless
In Los Angeles County
Good news: great weather, lovely beaches,
movie stars. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS ... |
|
 Kim Jung-un
Look-Alike Meets With
Obama Look-Alike
Meeting arranged by Dennis Rodman
look-alike (not shown). |
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