| HOPEFULS FIORINA, HUCKABEE,
CARSON THROW HATS IN RING |
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| Hopeful of being Secretary of Commerce,
Secretary of Interior, Surgeon General. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Mexico: Shadowy New Drug Cartel Burns Bank,
Shoots Down Military Helicopter, Attacks
Guadalajara
Seeking respectability. |
| |
| ENVIRONMENT |
|
Average Global Carbon Dioxide
Concentration Reaches Record
400 PPM
Numbers like this not seen since Ted Williams in 1941. |
| |
| ALSO IN THE NEWS ... |
|
 World's First Self-Driving Truck
Goes Into Operation
A human still sits behind wheel, but
only to react in abject horror when
something goes wrong. |
|
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| U. S. NEWS |
|
Court: NSA's Mass Data
Collection Illegal
And downright rude. |
|
Ted Cruz, Chuck Norris, Others
On Far Right Wary of Upcoming
Military Exercises
Fear they're prelude to martial law, roundup
of paranoid lunatics. |
| |
| REMINDER |
| |
No one ever went broke underestimating
the intelligence of the Fox News audience. |
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1600 IRS Workers Failed
To Pay Taxes
Too busy mailing penalty notices to
taxpayers for late payments. |
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FEC Head: Chance of Campaign
Finance Laws Being Observed in
2016 Election “Slim”
“And Slim just left town,” she adds. |
| |
| MISCELLANEOUS |
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Japan Surpasses China as
Top U.S. Debt Holder
Will accept payment in dollars, yen,
comfort women. |
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