| |
 STATUE
OF LIBERTY CROWN TO OPEN AGAIN ON
JULY 4TH
After they kick out tired, poor,
huddled masses who've been living
up there. |
|
| |
| WORLD NEWS |
 |
Karzai Picks Warlord Accused
of Human Rights Abuses as Vice
Presidential Running Mate
Calls him “my Cheney.” |
|
Joint Chiefs Chairman:
Pakistan
About to Explode in Chaos
But their nuclear weapons are perfectly
safe. |
| |
| ALSO IN THE NEWS . . . |
|
 Original
Formula for Dr. Pepper
Discovered in Antique Store
Contained cocaine, other natural
ingredients. |
|
|
| U. S. NEWS |
|
Ailing Banks Need Another $75
Billion
May have to sell off some assets, like
exclusive access to members of Congress. |
|
Nation's Capital Legalizes
Same-Sex Marriage
Now secretly gay senators and congressmen
who publicly oppose same-sex marriage can
tie knot. |
| |
| REMINDER |
| |
Build
a better mousetrap and
the world will download
it for free. |
|
|
|
| |
|
Administration May Send 100
Detainees to Saudi Terrorist
Rehab Center
There they'd be taught to like us by our
good friends the Saudis. |
|
Republicans Begin Huge
“Rebranding” Effort
Could cost billions, take years,
necessitate military coup. |
|
