| PEOPLE |
 |
 Berlusconi's
Wife Seeks Divorce
On grounds he passed forged
documents to the Pentagon
purporting to prove Saddam Hussein tried
to purchase uranium from Niger,
and for having a very public
affair with an 18-year-old. |
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| ENTERTAINMENT |
|
 New
Star Trek About Period Before TV
Series Began
Before original stars got big
heads from cultists' attention
and became grotesque parodies of
themselves. |
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| BUSINESS |
|
Obama Cracks Down on
Offshore Tax Havens
Wants taxpayer money, used to bail out
banks who then loaned it to multinational
corporations who then hid it in offshore
tax havens, returned. |
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Boston Globe to Fold
Luckily, city has network of horsemen to
warn of imminent danger. |
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| SCIENCE |
|
Increased Solar Storms May
Threaten Electrical Grids, GPS,
Cell Phones
And more importantly, ESPN. |
| |
| |
 Face
of Earliest European
Reconstructed From Skull
Fragments
Next task: getting him to
talk. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Teens Cutting Back on Proms
As a result, expect to read about fewer
grisly prom night murders. |
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Latest Study: Obesity in U.S.
Due to Overeating
Cause of obesity everywhere else still a
mystery. |
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| CORRECTION |
| |
| In an
account of the recent talks in
Washington we misidentified Hamid
Karzai as President of Kabul, and
Asif Ali Zardari as President of
Islamabad. They are in fact the
presidents of Afghanistan and
Pakistan. We apologize for any
confusion caused by our mistake. |
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