| NEW PRODUCTS |
 |
 KFC in Hong
Kong Introduces Line of Edible Nail Polish
Finger-lickin' goodness for nailbiters, foot fetishists. |
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| TRAVEL |
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 New Erotic Theme Park,
ErotikaLand, Planned for Brazil
Replaces old erotic theme park, Rio de Janeiro. |
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 First U.S.
Cruise Ship Arrives in Cuba
Bringing with it tourists, parts
for a '57 Pontiac. |
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| MISCELLANEOUS |
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 World's Biggest
Diamond to Go Up for Auction
It's rumored a certain presumptive nominee
has already hinted it would look awfully good
on the ring finger of our next First Lady. |
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| What is this? |
| “We hold as undeniable truths
that the governments of the various States, and of the
confederacy itself, were established exclusively by the
white race, for themselves and their posterity; that the
African race had no agency in their establishment; that
they were rightfully held and regarded as an inferior and
dependent race, and in that condition only could their
existence in this country be rendered beneficial or tolerable.” |
| A ) | Founding document of the KKK. |
| B ) | The Southern Racist’s Bible. |
| C ) | Texas Declaration of causes for
secession, February 2, 1861. |
| Hint: There are more important things to do than quibble
about history, for example: voter suppression around Austin. |
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| SPORTS |
|
 5000-1 Shot
Leicester City Wins English Premier League Title
Shown: fans who bet $1000 on them react. |
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