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Ironic Times

 NO. 707 “Expect the Ironic” MAR 31 - APR 6, 2014 

Mar 24
Apr 7
GOP INSIDERS LEANING TOWARD JEB BUSH IN 2016
But not sure he'll be willing to change his last name.
 
WORLD NEWS
G-8 Summit in Russia Cancelled, Renamed G-7 to Meet in Brussels
“G-8 Summit” hats, t-shirts donated to children in Africa.
Ukrainian Women Withholding Sex From Russian Men Until Crimean Takeover Ends
Ukrainian men say “the hell with Crimea.”
Germany: Customs Officials
Seize Condoms Stuffed With
Cocaine Bound for Vatican

To be used for God knows what.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
Every Man in North Korea Required to Get a Kim Jong-un Haircut
Every man in Freedonia required to get a Rufus T. Firefly haircut.
U. S. NEWS
New Jersey: Probe Finds Christie “Blameless” in Bridgegate
He “didn't know nothin' about nothin',” concludes investigation conducted by his good friend's law firm, which billed the state $1 million.
Northwestern Football Players Win Right to Unionize
Armed with clubs, university goons try to break up their first meeting.
 
REMINDER
  Friends don't let friends take multivitamins.
 
Survey: Half of Americans Believe Medical Conspiracy Theories
Other half think it's all a plot concocted by lawyers.
 
LEISURE
Monopoly Might Incorporate Popular Variations to Game Rules
Like downing a shot every time you land on Free Parking, or removing an article of clothing every time you pass Go.
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