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JANUARY - MARCH, 2017 |
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ENTIRE WORLD OBSERVES
INAUGURATION WITH
GREAT INTEREST
As America transitions to a kleptocracy. |
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Trump Claims:
My Crowd Bigger Than Obama's
If you count no-shows. |
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President Says He Can Bring
Projected $21.6 Billion Cost
Of Border Wall Way Down
By stiffing contractors. |
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Mexico's
Nieto Won't Come to U.S.
The wall's already working! boasts Trump. |
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Ivanka Trump Given West Wing
Office, Security Clearance
And her own line of White House stationery. |
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Trump: By Far the Highest IQ
of Any Cabinet in History
If you don't include Rick Perry, he added. |
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Trump Meets
With Saudis, Considers Them Important Allies
In the fight against Western Civilization. |
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Revealed: Flynn a Foreign Agent
for Turkey While Advising Trump
Claims it was fine with Trump and okayed by
Putin. |
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Trump Makes Japan's
Prime Minister Wince With Vigorous Handshake
Then gives him a noogie (not shown). |
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APRIL - JUNE, 2017 |
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Failure to Repeal Obamacare
Leaves Conservatives in Misery
Miserable because twenty-four million will get
to keep their healthcare. |
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White House Budget Director:
We Can't Ask Single Moms to
Pay for PBS
Considering how much they're already spending
on aircraft carriers, new nukes, Trump
family security. |
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Irael: Trump
Visits Wailing Wall
Complains to it about all the unfair press
he's getting. |
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Trump Comment That Korea
Once Part of China Deeply
Upsets Koreans
Says he heard it from Dennis Rodman. |
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Trump Withdraws From
Paris Accord
Doesn't want to belong to any club that
would have him as a member. |
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North Korea Successfully
Launches Ballistic Missile
I double-dare them to attack South
Korea with nukes, tweets Trump. |
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Trump Drives
Runaway Truck Without Brakes Towards
Impenetrable Barrier
On National Metaphor Day. |
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