 KANYE WEST'S
VISIT TO OVAL OFFICE A VICTORY FOR TRUMP
Nation finally witnesses someone less rational, more
unhinged than him. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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UN: Global Climate Crisis by 2040
Followed by war, nuclear winter, dinosaurs,
giant comet, evolution, with things back to normal
by 3156. |
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| POLITICS |
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2020: Dems to Highlight Trump's
Advanced Age
Figures to be a main talking point for Joe Biden,
Bernie Sanders, John Kerry. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS ... |
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 Flying Car Goes on
Sale Next Year
Followed immediately by huge “Don't Text
and Fly” ad campaign. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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GAO Report: Nearly All Our New
Weapons Systems Can be Hacked
Giving each one its own Facebook page
may have been a mistake. |
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Gen. Kelly Demands Apology From Chinese
Official Who Pulled Aside Aide With Nuclear Football
“If we lose possession of the football,
we lose the game,” says Kelly. |
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| REMINDER |
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Ask not what your country can do for you,
ask how you can avoid paying taxes. |
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Good News: 65,000 Register to
Vote After Taylor Swift Makes
First Political Endorsement
Bad news: they want to vote for Taylor Swift. |
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 At Rally, Trump
Calls Democrats “Angry Left-Wing
Mob”
He's drowned out by thousands shaking their fists
and chanting “lock them up!” |
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