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PRESIDENT
CAUGHT ON
THE LINKS
He was supposed to be attending
an important cabinet meeting. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Turkey to Send Troops to Iraq
Move is popular with everyone except
Turks and Iraqis. |
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Middle East: Radical Islamists
Call for Boycott of All
American-Made Products
Except Krispy Kreme doughnuts. |
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| FACTOID |
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One in Five Americans Speaks
Foreign Language at Home
They're called teenagers. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS . . . |
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 Sea-Launched
Rocket Sends Satellite
Into Orbit
Will provide phone, TV,
Internet services to
dolphins. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Bush Administration Completes
Exhaustive Investigation of Itself
“We did nothing wrong,” they
all say in unison. |
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Angry Members of Congress
Want Iraq To Pay for Rebuilding
With Oil Profits
Afghanistan with opium profits. |
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Liberty Bell Moved
Placed in storage in undisclosed location. |
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REMINDER
You can't go home
again, except
to do some laundry. |
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White House: Saddam Was
Definitely Daydreaming About Nukes, WMDs
Forensic psychics, handwriting analysts
confirm alarming thought patterns. |
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16 More Women Say They Were
Never Groped by Schwarzenegger
Brings total to 23 who claim they were
not sexually harassed by him. |
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Study: Americans Wasted
$69.5 Billion in Time and Gas
Stuck in Traffic in '01
Money could have gone to repair
Iraq's highways, oil fields. |
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