| MISCELLANEOUS |
 |
 |
World's
Largest Jeans Go on
Display
According to
Levi-Strauss, the giant
(nearly 100 ft. tall!)
pair of pants took forty
children in Sumatra,
working round the clock,
three weeks to make. |
|
|
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
Consumer Confidence Drops
Sharply in September
Fueled by fears world will end in
October. |
|
McDonald's Plans Leaner McNugget
Half the fat, half the calories, half the portion. |
| |
| SPORTS |
|
Baseball: Evil Spirits
Working Overtime on Championship Series
“Cursed” Cubs, Red Sox taxing
resources of every demon, fiend, and
succubus east of the Mississippi. |
|
Baseball
Playoffs Bring Out
Traditional Rivalries
Once again it’s Fans
Who Drink Too Much Beer
vs. Fans Who Drink Way
Too Much Beer. |
|
 |
|
|
 |
 New
Key Chain Says Everything
About You!
The handy Genester®
contains a complete map
of your DNA, with all 30,000
of your genes packed into
a convenient carrying
case, ready to show off
to an inquiring doctor or
forensic expert at a
moment's notice.
Great for medical
emergencies, blind dates,
and determining
approximately when you'll
drop dead. $495, at all
Genomes to Go stores. |
|
Publishers
Excited About New
Mini-Books
Fill niche between
full-sized and
microscopic books. |
|
 |
|
 Amazing
New Headphones Sound as
Good As They Look!
You won't believe
your ears when you put these
on. The stereophonic
dual-amplification system
delivers clarity and
fidelity normally
associated with listening
through a rolled-up
newspaper. Sold only in
pairs. ($39, Ear Trumpet
Emporium.) |
|
Inflatable
Bikini Comes in Handy
Especially in a crowded hot
tub filled with
strangers. |
|
 |
|
|
|
