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TRUMP, PENCE OFFICIAL
PORTRAITS UNVEILED
Suitable for government offices, official condolences, mug shots. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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China: Penalty for Disrespecting
National Anthem Increased from
15 Days to 3 Years
In case you were thinking of taking a knee on your next visit there. |
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Germany: Outcry Over Plans to Name
High-Speed Train After Anne Frank
Follows criticism of naming fast-lighting yule logs after Joan of Arc. |
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Saudi Royalty Arrested
on Corruption Charges
Not corrupt enough. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS ... |
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 Declassified CIA Docs: Bin Laden
Huge Fan of “Tom and Jerry” Cartoons
Also President of The Riyadh Woody Woodpecker Fan Club. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Analysis: Republican Tax Plan
Mainly Benefits Portfolios of Top 1%
Your portfolio of canned goods and a 1999 Plymouth not so much. |
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Trump Says Hillary Orchestrated FBI
Investigations, Grand Jury Probe, Multiple
Congressional Inquiries
Also Las Vegas shooting, recent hurricanes. |
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| REMINDER |
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In the event of a national emergency,
you'll be tweeted what to do and where to go. |
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U.S. Government Report: Humans
Responsible for Global Warming
Doesn't name names. |
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Mueller: Manafort Has Many Aliases,
Passports, Bank Accounts, Houses,
Antique Rugs, Designer Suits
And felony charges. |
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Poll: 79% of Trump Supporters
Would Still Support Him if He
Colluded With Russia
And shot two people on Fifth Avenue. |
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| POLITICS |
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Republicans Deeply Divided,
Dems in Disarray
Big opportunity for Monster Raving
Loony Party to pick up some seats. |
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