U.S. MILITARY
DEVELOPING IRON MAN SUIT,
WANTS PROTOTYPE READY
WITHIN A YEAR
Obama's already had his
measurements taken. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Britney Spears's Music Used
By British Navy to Scare Off
Somali Pirates
Also triggers several mutinies. |
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NSA Says European Intelligence
Services Also Listened in to
Millions of Calls
Spiking renewed interest in carrier pigeons. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS ... |
|
 Royal Couple
Releases First Pics of Life
at Home
Shown: Duke and Duchess of Cambridge,
Prince George of Cambridge and Queen
Elizabeth enjoy a bath. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Charities Report Big Drop in Donations
Rich giving their money to right-wing PACs instead. |
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Republicans Outraged That Obamacare
Is Destroying America
And isn't rolling out smoothly enough. |
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Marijuana Likely to Be Decriminalized
In Washington, D.C. by February
Just in time for Choom Gang reunion
at White House. |
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| REMINDER |
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Revenge porn is a dish best served cold. |
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 Large Barges
Owned by Google Floating Off East and West
Coasts Prompts Speculation
Company denies it's staging a coup. |
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Man Drives From New York to LA in
Under Twenty-Nine Hours
Then drives from Brentwood to West
Hollywood in an hour and forty minutes. |
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