 NEW ENGLAND
WINS SUPER BOWL
Ball boy named MVP. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Cuba Wants U.S. to Return
Guantanamo Bay
We'll agree, but only if they continue
torturing our detainees. |
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Pope Says Couples Should
Not Breed “Like Rabbits”
“Three or four times a year is plenty.” |
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| ENVIRONMENT |
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Most People, Including 51%
Of Republicans, Want Action
On Climate Change
Even those who think it's a hoax want action. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS ... |
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 Attempt
to Arrest Kissinger for War Crimes Fails
He leaps over desk, knocks down three assailants,
escapes into night. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Report: DEA Running
Pervasive National License
Plate Reader Program
So, if you can't remember your license
plate number, perhaps you're too high
on drugs, you can always call them. |
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Republicans Call Obama’s
Proposal to Ban Drilling in
Arctic National Wildlife Refuge “Attack on Alaska”
Call domestic violence ban “attack on women.” |
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| REMINDER |
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There's no free all-you-can-eat lunch. |
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Alabama School Suggests Kids
Hurl Canned Goods at Intruders
Nothing stops a homicidal maniac
with an AK-47 like Campbell's
Cream of Mushroom soup. |
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| POLITICS |
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Koch Brothers to Spend
$900 Million on 2016 Campaign
While expecting nothing more in
return than control of all three branches
of the government. |
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