 VATICAN: TWO
POPES CANONIZED
In historic “Buy One, Get One Free”
ceremony. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Hamas, Fatah Agree to
Reconcile, Further Complicating
Mideast Peace Process
As if that were possible. |
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China Bans Eating Endangered
Animals
Panda Express shutters. |
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Canada Passes U.S. in Middle
Class Income
We still maintain substantial lead in middle class taste. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS ... |
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North Korea Hosts First
Comedy Festival
Opening night audience includes
Kim Jong-un. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Georgia Gun Law Allows Weapons
In Churches, Bars, Government
Offices
Schools, libraries, anger management clinics. |
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Study: 32% of U.S. Seafood
Caught Illegally
Then overcooked. |
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| REMINDER |
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Nobody knows you when you're
down and out of camera range. |
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IRS Awards $1.1 Million in Bonuses to
Employees Who Had Been Disciplined for
Failing to Pay Taxes
Proving only sure things in life are death,
taxes, and bonuses. |
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Bill Introduced in Congress Would Create
National Park on the Moon
Already, the wait for a decent campsite is 6
months. |
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| POLL |
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Majority Opposes Health Law
And Its Repeal
If it's repealed they'll have nothing left to oppose. |
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