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BERLUSCONI RESIGNS
To spend more time with his 17-year-old
prostitute. |
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WORLD NEWS |
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Arab League Votes to Suspend
Syria Over Crackdown
Will be banned from clubhouse,
restaurant, lounge; denied
early tee times. |
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SPORTS |
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NBA: Owners to Move
Operations Overseas
Foreign workers will be paid twenty-five
cents an hour to play basketball. |
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ALSO IN THE NEWS . . . |
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Military Developing
Remote Control Mini Helicopters
Capable of delivering eenie-weenie, itsy-bitsy tactical
nuclear weapons. |
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U. S. NEWS |
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White House Delays Pipeline
Decision Until After Election
The day after. |
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As Sequestration Nears, Many
Ask Same Question
“What is sequestration?” |
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In Response to Petition, White
House Says “No Evidence” of
Visits From Extraterrestrials
In response to another petition, says
“no evidence” Moon made of green
cheese. |
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REMINDER |
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There will always be new Nixon tapes. |
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POLITICS |
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GOP Wants to Crack Down
On Voter Fraud
Suggests poll tax. |
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Cain Says God Persuaded Him
To Run For President
After promising to drop His support for Perry,
Bachmann, Santorum, Romney and
Gingrich. |
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