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“ENDURING
FREEDOM” TRADING CARDS GO ON
SALE
Each pack contains two good guys,
one bad guy, and bubble gum. |
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WORLD NEWS |
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U.S. Wants Northern Alliance
Out of Kabul
Will provide Taliban with necessary
military aid. |
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“Turn in Your Nukes”
Campaign Begins
Citizens offered up to $500 per bomb,
depending on yield. |
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BUSINESS |
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Heinz Lowers Forecast
Product taking an excruciatingly
long time to reach consumers. |
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U. S. NEWS |
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Analysts Agree: Economy
“Probably” in Recession
Worse than last month's view that it was
“most likely” in recession. |
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FBI Profile: Anthrax
Letter-Writer Angry, Solitary Man
Narrows possible number of suspects to 113,847,052. |
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Democrats, in Control of
Senate, Win Close Vote
Measure sends Republican senators on
fact-finding mission to Afghanistan |
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REMINDER
You're only as old as other people
think you are. |
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Defense Attorneys Object to
Government Plan to Listen in
On Their Phone Calls
“We've heard these complaints
before,” say prosecutors, “in
fact we have them on tape.” |
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F-18's Pound Al Qaeda
Training
Sites in Florida, Arizona
Collateral damage kept to a minimium. |
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