| |
U.S. BEGINS
MASSIVE AIRLIFT OF
BARBERS TO AFGHANISTAN
Gillette, Schick donate
equipment. |
|
 |
|
| |
| WORLD NEWS |
 |
Northern Alliance Forces Take
Kabul,
Kandahar, Baghdad, Paris, Miami
Situation is “fast-moving,
fluid,” says Pentagon. |
|
Bush, Putin Agree to Reduce
Nuclear Stockpile
Will sell off warheads to interested
parties. |
| |
| ALSO IN THE
NEWS ... |
|
 |
NEW GAME CONSOLES
MAKE THEIR DEBUTS |
| Nintendo's
GameCube, Microsoft's
Xbox promise better speed, graphics
to “really make it seem like you're
blasting somebody to smithereens,”
says a spokesman. |
|
|
| U. S. NEWS |
|
United Airlines Putting Stun
Guns on All Planes
Will help passengers get better, faster
service |
|
High Court Rules Against
Victims
of Identity Theft
Opinion written by somebody posing as
Justice Ginsburg. |
|
White House: There's a Very
Good Reason for Government Secrecy
But it's a government secret. |
| |
REMINDER
Don't
forget to pass the gravy
over here
when you're done
with it. |
|
|
| |
|
Bush Will Name Justice Dept.
After Robert Kennedy
And Dept.of Interior after Marilyn
Monroe. |
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
Philip Morris to Become
Altria
New name meant to “obscure the fact
that we make the world's number one
killer of men, women and children,”
says a spokesman. |
|
