Ironic Times

 NO. 205 "Expect the Ironic" AUGUST 16 - 22, 2004 

Aug 9
Aug 23
Olympics 2004 - Special Edition
 
Basketball: U.S. Eliminated by China, 112-14
Earl Boykins (right) leads Americans in scoring with 3.

Motivated Iraqi Soccer Team
Upsets Portugal, Costa Rica
A loss would mean facing certain torture by U.S. prison guards.
  Americans Urged to Keep a
Low Profile in Athens

Advised not to greet foreigners by slapping them on the back and saying, “Well, hello there little buddy!”
 
Latest Scandal: Water Wings
Three swimmers caught using them.

WORLD NEWS
As Freedom Takes Root, Better
News Coming Out of Iraq

Especially since government shut down Al Jazeera.
Human Cloning Approved in U.K.
As long as no sex is involved.
 
ELECTION NEWS
Analysis: Country Divided
Into Two Warring Cultures

On one side, country bumpkins who see everything in black and white; on the other, elitist snobs who nuance every thought.
New York City Welcomes Early Arrivals to GOP Convention
Local authorities predict "circus-like atmosphere."
U. S. NEWS
Miss America Pageant To Bring Back Talent Competition Following Protests
Agreement reached after Miss Congeniality
releases hostages.
 
POLITICS
“October Surprises” Announced
White House unveils schedule for pivotal month leading up to election.
 
Oct. 6 Bin Laden captured, finds Jesus, calls Bush “great man.”
Oct. 9 Colin Powell throws out first ball at Falluja Little League game.
Oct. 15 Casual Friday constitutional amendment proposed.
Oct. 24 Invasion of Iran.
Oct. 31 Halloween candy tax rebate announced.
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