| PEOPLE |
 |
|
| |
Mike Wallace Handcuffed,
Taken to Police Station
Morley Safer shackled, hooded, sent to
Guantanamo; Andy Rooney placed in
straitjacket, executed by lethal
injection. |
|
Madonna Now a Rabbi
She'll preside over Britney Spears's
bat mitzvah. |
| |
| ENTERTAINMENT |
|
Bravo Sponsors Sitcom Writing
Contest For Viewers
Winner gets $25,000, one-year contract with
top agent who won't return phone calls. |
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
Reuters Shifts Editorial Jobs
to India
To cover the phenomenon of outsourcing. |
| |
| ALSO IN THE NEWS |
|
 Animal
Kingdom Olympics Come to An End
Medals wrap-up: predictably, cheetahs
dominated in the sprints, elephants pulled off a
sweep in weightlifting, sharks won the lion's-share
of swimming events, and orangutans (shown) took
home gold and silver in kick-boxing, upsetting the
heavily favored kangaroos in the process. |
|
|
| SCIENCE |
|
World's Largest Ant
Colony Discovered in Australia
Found beneath world's largest
picnic. |
|
Robots to Send Man to Repair
Hubble Telescope
Mission “too risky” to send
robot. |
| |
| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Report: Prozac Detected in
Britain's Drinking Water
Public reaction has been subdued. |
| |
| FEATURE |
 |
| The U.S. Forest Service
has reversed long-standing
policy to protect New Mexico's
"Valley of Life" despite
opposition from local ranchers, state
officials, vacationers, environmentalists
and the Boy Scouts of America, due to
pressure brought to bear by: |
| A ) | Scientists
responding to conclusions presented in independent
research. |
| B ) | Native American
shamans responding to the
spirits of elk herds and
animal deities. |
| C ) | The White House,
responding to campaign
contributions from the El
Paso Corporation. |
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