BUSHES ATTEND FIRST
EXECUTION TOGETHER
Gala event caps Inaugural
festivities. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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French Cling to Tradition,
Culture, Language
But rest of world only cares about their
fries. |
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Spontaneous Human
Combustion
Up 23%
Public being warned to "stay
cool." |
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| INTERNET |
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New Cyber-Communities Built
Around Inter-Connected
Network Hubs Thriving
Unfortunately, nobody knows what the hell that means. |
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| PEOPLE |
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PINOCHET FIT FOR
TRIAL
Khadafy, Milosevic,
Amin set as character
witnesses. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Supreme Court Voids U.S.
Constitution
Rules 1787 document violates Articles
of Confederation. |
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Bush Announces Economic Plan:
Hotels on Boardwalk, Park Place
If plan fails, get
money from Dad's friends. |
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Clinton, Lewinsky Will Marry
in June
"Love Story of the Century" to
have happy ending. |
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REMINDER
When referring to the President of the
United States, it's now “That idiot,
Bush,” not “That slimeball,
Clinton.” |
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| ENTERTAINMENT |
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NBC Reveals "Survivor"
Battle Plans
Special nude episodes of
"Friends" to run opposite CBS
blockbuster. |
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| MISCELLANEOUS |
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New York City Rolls Out
First Pay Toilets
$2000-a-month buys privacy right in
the heart of Manhattan. |
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