Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – SEPTEMBER 6 - 12, 2021
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PEOPLE
QAnon Shaman Pleads Guilty
“I'm one ashamed shaman,” he tells judge.
 
BUSINESS
Report: Bitcoin Uses More
Electricity Than Many Countries

And bitcoin pays its electric bill in bitcoins.
August Jobs Report Disappointing, But Many Positions Unfilled
Sign makers report equal sales of “Help Wanted” and “I Need a Job” signs.
Amazon Recruiting Pot Smokers to Solve Delivery Driver Shortage Due to Screening Out Pot Smokers
Amends Prime 2-day delivery policy to “whenever.”
Apple Accused of Listening to
Users' Siri Questions Without
Their Knowledge

Charge leveled after Siri answers “Yes” when asked, “Siri, does Apple listen to my questions without my knowledge?”
SCIENCE
Astronauts Report New
Cracks in Aging Space Station

NASA hurriedly schedules mission to send “that guy on TV who turns a screen door into a boat.”
Haze From Western Wildfires
Spoiled Perseid Meteor Shower

Next year, Perseid Meteor Shower may shower a different planet.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Purdue Pharma Dissolved in
$4.5 Billion Opioid Settlement

Disgraced Sackler family left with mere $6.5 billion.
Study: Toxic “Forever
Chemicals” Contaminate
Indoor Air at Dangerous Levels

Recommends everyone wear mask outside house, hazmat suit inside.
 
POLL
65% of American Workers
Actively Searching for New Job

Something they can do at home, in their underwear, stoned, when they feel like it, for good pay.

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