Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – MAR 29 - APR 4, 2021
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TECHNOLOGY
Robot Learns to Tie Knots Using Only Two Fingers on Each Hand
“Now I can tie my shoes,” it says proudly.
Report: Anyone With an iPhone
Can Now Make Deepfakes

App includes in-person tutorial by Steve Jobs himself.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
$4,248,522 in Federal Pandemic Relief Funds Went to Hate Groups
Money used for horn helmets, spears, zip ties, gallows, bear spray, etc.
World Happiness Report Finds
“Self-Reported Life Satisfaction”
Remained Steady in 2020

Each year pollsters ask people, “How ya doin'?"”
 
REAL ESTATE
California Desert to Get America's First 3D Printed Neighborhood
A.k.a. “Legoland.”
Warren Buffett is giving $1 million to any employee who produces a perfect NCAA bracket. What are the odds of producing a perfect NCAA bracket?
A )1 in a million
B )1 in a billion
C )1 in a trillion
D )1 in 9.2 quintillion
Hint: Warren Buffett didn't get rich by accident.
 
GAMES
Monopoly Updating 16 Community Chest Cards to Reflect Modern Community Standards
“You've Won Second Prize in a Beauty Contest” becomes “You've Won Second Prize in a Biggest Ass Contest.”
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Ex-Trump Attorney Powell's Defamation Defense: “No Reasonable Person” Would Believe Her
“Only Trump would believe me,” she tells judge.

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