| ADVERTISING |
 |
 Trump Announces
First Ever Commercial Sponsor
of a Presidential Campaign
“The first of many,” he adds. |
|
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| PEOPLE |
|
 Kanye West Polling
Better Than Libertarian, Green
Party Candidates
Reportedly being wooed by Monster Raving
Loony Party. |
|
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
Rumor: Elon Musk to
Unveil Brain Chips That Make You
a Genius, Let Your Mind Control
Things
Like the world. |
|
 Amazon's New
Shopping Cart Knows What You're Buying
Also what you have bought, what you
will buy, and what all that says
about you as a person. |
|
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| SCIENCE |
|
Freeway Project Unearths Evidence
Camels Once Roamed San Diego
And only twenty years ago. |
| |
| TECHNOLOGY |
|
 Beetles Outfitted
With Tiny Backpack Cameras,
Stream Footage to Smartphones
Already Hulu, Netflix, Quibi competing
for rights. |
|
|
 Robot Dolphins
Under Development
To do military work real dolphins
won't do. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
White House Issues Guidelines
On How to Obtain a Rapid
Test for Coronavirus
First, undergo intense athletic training,
compete successfully at a high level,
then sign a contract with a team in a
major professional sports league about to
restart its season. |
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