Ironic Times

page one
PAGE TWO – APRIL 20 - 26, 2020
page three

PEOPLE
Michael Cohen Writing Tell-All to “Spill the Beans” on Trump
Plans to reveal his former boss “often stretched the truth.”
 
MEDUA
Report: Trump Planned Own
Daily Two-Hour Radio Show,
But Didn't Want to Encroach
On Rush Limbaugh

So instead he's holding daily two-hour press conferences.
 
BUSINESS
IMF: Global Growth Headed for Worst Levels Since Great Depression.
Brother, can you spare a bitcoin?
Report: More Than 80% of Tax
Benefits in Coronavirus Relief
Package Goes to Those Earning
More Than $1 Million a Year

If you made $999,999.99 last year you're out of luck.
Florida Declares WWE an Essential Service
Along with meth labs, tattoo parlors.
SCIENCE
Three Astronauts Return From International Space Station
They emerge from capsule, look around, hop on next rocket headed back.
Scientists Ascertain Why
Universe Exists

“Something to do with neutrinos,” says one.
 
Scientists Spot 150- Foot-Long Organism Off Western Australia
Fascinated, they take photo (above) then run for their lives.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Dr. Fauci Calls for End to Handshaking
And “long-overdue” ban on hugs, kisses, and “pinches on the cheek.”
“Immunity Certificates”
Mulled for Those Who Have
Recovered From Coronavirus

Either that or big red “C” for everyone lacking immunity.

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
 ©  Copyright 2020 Ironic Times