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Ironic Times

 NO. 703 “Expect the Ironic” MARCH 3 - 9, 2014 

Feb 24
Mar 10
UKRAINE CRISIS THREATENS NEW COLD WAR
Hegel orders all nuclear forces to immediately stop taking drugs and try to pass their proficiency exams without cheating.
 
WORLD NEWS
Report: British Spies Intercepted
Millions of Webcam Images,
Many Sexual in Nature

Government blames “a few randy apples.”
Iranian, EU Foreign Ministers Agree Nuke Talks Off to a “Good Start”
No problems about shape of table, hors d'oeuvres “excellent.”
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
Crystal, 4.4 Billion Years Old, Believed to Be Oldest Piece of Earth's Crust
Not oldest piece of pizza crust, however, which is in back of your refrigerator.
U. S. NEWS
Proposed Budget Cuts Put
Supremacy of U.S. Army in Doubt

Could now be vulnerable to attack from world’s second most powerful military, U.S. Navy.
Republicans Plan to Revise
Tax Code to Help Big Banks

That are (who knew?) paying too much in taxes.
 
REMINDER
  A tweet to the wise is sufficient.
 
Arizona Governor Vetoes Bill Allowing Businesses to Refuse Service to Gays
Says God told her to do it, “or lose the Super Bowl.”
Los Angeles Condom Law Forcing Porn Production to Move to Las Vegas
Casino losses forcing porn stars, producers to return to Los Angeles.
 
TRAVEL
American Airlines Ends
Bereavement Fare

But will offer fliers lovely sympathy card.
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