OBAMA
IMPERSONATOR SHAKES UP REPUBLICAN
LEADERSHIP CONFERENCE
Announces he's running. |
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WORLD NEWS |
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Afghan Judges Invalidate One
Fourth of Its Parliament
All those who aren't relatives. |
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Brazilian Government
Identifies
Remote, Uncontacted Tribe
In Amazon Rain Forest
Will be invited to compete on next
season's Survivor: Amazon. |
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ALSO IN THE NEWS . . . |
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New York:
Planners Hope to Place Swimming Pool in
East River
Sweltering New Yorkers would get to splash
about with what's left of guys named Lucky,
Bananas and The Snitch. |
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U. S. NEWS |
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Republicans End Debt Talks
with Democrats
Begin talks with Fox News. |
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President Says He's
Withdrawing 33,000 Troops From
Afghanistan
Hiring 33,000 mercenaries to replace
them. |
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REMINDER |
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Send
your lewd photos by snail
mail. |
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Report: Tritium Leaks Found
At Many Nuclear Sites
Panic unlikely, since most people have no
idea what tritium is. |
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Texas May Ban Intrusive
Touching at Airport Security
Checkpoints
Following numerous complaints from Dallas
Cowboys cheerleaders. |
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POLITICS |
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More Problems for Gingrich:
Aide Acknowledges Second
Account at Tiffany
And three more at Cartier, Harry Winston
and DeBeers. |
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