Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JANUARY 19 - 25, 2009
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MISCELLANEOUS
Joe the Plumber Files First Reports From Israel
Found several drips but no leaks.
Bad News: 1 in 100 Americans
Being Stalked

Good news: only three million stalkers in this country, less if some stalk more than one person.
 
TRENDS
Me Generation, Generation Y
Agree to Merge

Into Y-Me Generation.
 
SPORTS
House to Hold Hearings on BCS
Lawmakers seek star athletes' testimony, autographs.
 
TRAVEL
  Rome's Colosseum to Begin Staging Mock Gladiator Fights
Next up: Christians vs. lions.
FEATURE
The greatest achievement of the Bush presidency is:
A )rescuing the Democratic party
B )driving the last nail into the coffin of Reaganomics
C )driving the last nail into the coffin of neoconservative foreign policy
D )not arranging a military coup to overturn the 2008 election
Hint: of course our robust free press would never have put up with a military coup, unless their jobs were at stake.
 
BOOKS
Fiction Reading Increases in U.S.
When fake memoirs are included.
 
ENVIRONMENT
Penguins Depicted in Happy Feet Near Extinction
Fortunately, they'll live on in animated form.

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