| |
 McCAIN
FURIOUS AT MEDIA
Complains he's always described
as a hothead. |
|
| |
| WORLD NEWS |
 |
Bush Reports Progress in Iraq
Further progress, say Iraqis, and Iraq
will be completely destroyed. |
|
Amsterdam May Close Red Light
District
City leaders in talks with Disney. |
| |
| MILESTONES |
|
Death of 108-Year-Old Man
Leaves Only One Living
Veteran of World War I
He's currently serving in Iraq. |
| |
| ALSO IN THE NEWS . . . |
|
 Hypersonic
Aircraft Will Cut
NY-London Flying Time to
One Hour
But passengers must
arrive five hours before
departure. |
|
|
| U. S. NEWS |
|
Huge Spy Satellite About to
Hit Earth
Government advises caution. |
|
CIA Chief Says Waterboarding Only
Used Three Times
And then only because we needed evidence
of Saddam’s WMD and Al Qaeda ties. |
|
Government Bureaucracies Buying
Software to Simplify Writing Styles
Regulatory Standards for Biochemical
Acceptability Rates in Plastic Construction
Materials Under 5 Lbs.-Per-Unit now reads
like Hemingway. |
| |
| REMINDER |
| |
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. |
|
|
|
| |
|
CIA Report Concludes
Inspector General “Too Hard” on CIA
Recommends he “lighten up” and
“get a life.” |
| |
| POLITICS |
|
Clinton Lends Campaign $5
Million
Cash appears mysteriously in briefcase in
her office. |
|
McCain Proves Himself to
Conservatives
He shoots a gay abortion doctor who is
here illegally. |
|
