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AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL:
CHINA TOP EXECUTIONER, U.S. 4TH
Shown: Presidents Hu,
Bush swap execution
stories. |
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WORLD NEWS |
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Saddam Defends Killing
Thousands of Kurds
Says he thought they had WMDs. |
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Blair Plans on Staying in
No. 10 Downing St. Until 2009
If his successor lets him sleep
on couch downstairs. |
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EDUCATION |
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Report: “No Child Left Behind”
Loophole Leaves Two Million
Children Behind
Act quickly renamed "No More Than
Two Million Children Left Behind." |
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MILESTONES |
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Queen
Elizabeth Celebrates 80th
Birthday
Party hosted by Prince
Charles and
What's-her-name. |
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U. S. NEWS |
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White House: Constitution
Gives President Right to Lie
Even about what's in the Constitution. |
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Report: Unusually Sharp
Decline in Death Rate
New environmental policies should correct
that. |
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Karl Rove to Relinquish
Policy Duties
He'll concentrate on coordinating smear
campaigns for upcoming midterm elections. |
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REMINDER |
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If you have to ask,
you can't afford a full tank. |
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Revealed: National Archives
Signed Secret Pact Allowing
CIA to Withdraw Documents
Only thing left is heavily redacted
letter from Bess Truman to Mamie
Eisenhower. |
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POLITICS |
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Republicans Anxious as
Midterm Elections Approach
Facing loss of majority in Congress,
inevitable investigations, arrests,
prosecutions, convictions, prison
sentences, hard time in dank,
rat-infested cells. |
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