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SPACECRAFT CARRYING COMET
DUST RETURNS TO EARTH
Unlocks mystery of universe, details of
which were not available at press time. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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British PM Blair Admits
He Spanked His Children
But only after U.S. asked him to. |
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Bush Touts Progress of Iraqi
Economy
Unemployment rate of 40% likely
over-stated since so many are employed in
the insurgency. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS . . . |
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 New Jersey
Picks Slogan
It's “New Jersey:
Come See for
Yourself,” announces
Gov. Richard J. Codey
(above, second from
right). |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Bush Invites Responsible
Criticism
Of His Policies in Iraq
Like calls for more troops, harsher
interrogation of detainees. |
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Army Continues to Relax
Recruiting Standards to Meet Need
Now accepting former enemy combatants. |
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REMINDER
Put some distance between yourself
and Jack Abramoff. |
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Report: DeLay Won Seat
Due to Reapportionment
Gerrymandered district's residents mostly
short white men with bad toupees. |
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EPA to Change Method Used to
Estimate Mileage
New procedure involves spinning wheel
instead of throwing darts. |
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