| CRIME |
 |
 |
French Police Seize
Santa Statue Made
Of Pure Cocaine
Looking for group of tense,
hopped-up elves. |
|
|
| |
| PEOPLE |
 |
|
Scoop: Trump
Wedding Marred By Bad
Planning
New wife's family blamed;
mother-in-law fired. |
|
| |
| MEDIA |
|
Pressured By Conservative
Groups, PBS Drops Cartoon
Featuring Same-Sex Parents
Will re-edit program to feature
heterosexual parents who are bigoted
religious zealots. |
| |
| BUSINESS |
 |
|
Budweiser
Introduces Caffeinated
Beer
Aimed at heavy drinkers
who need to stay alert
while driving. |
|
|
| SCIENCE |
|
Head of Titan Probe Describes
Surface of Saturn Moon as
“Like Creme Brulee”
Others think it's more like flan. |
|
Tsunami Affected Earth's
Rotation, Shortened Length of Day
But not enough to screw up TV
schedule. |
| |
| |
 Largest Solar
Flare in 15 Years Could
Disrupt Cellphone
Communications
Thank you, sun. |
|
| |
| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Survey: Americans Too Thin,
Should Eat More
Conclusion based on interviews with
1200 Jewish mothers. |
| |
| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
State Senator Hopes
to Keep
Cockfighting Legal by Putting
Gloves on Chickens
Oklahoma lawmaker hailed as
"Cockfighting's Marquis of
Queensbury." |
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|
