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NO
CHILD LEFT BEHIND
LAW QUIETLY AMENDED
One child will be left
behind. |
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WORLD NEWS |
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Survey: Iraqis' Opinion
of Americans Has Gradually Become More
Positive
We've gone from invading
infidels to lying
liberators in less than a year. |
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U.S. to Beam Arab-Language TV
Channel to Mideast
Voice of Satan will present American
values in a more positive light. |
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Saddam Has
Three Cavities
Bush calls on France,
Germany to help pay for
dental work. |
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ALSO IN THE NEWS . . . |
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Bipartisan
Report: Bush Administration
Could Have Prevented 9/11
President, top aides should be
prosecuted for high crimes, it concludes. |
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U. S. NEWS |
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With Saddam in Custody, Most
Americans Begin to Relax
They know he can no longer launch a
massive nuclear attack on them in
forty-five minutes. |
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Supreme Court Upholds Almost
All of Campaign Finance Law
Only exception: limits on gifts to
judges. |
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REMINDER
Beware of Greeks
bearing gifts that
require batteries. |
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National Rifle Association
Facing
$100 Million Deficit
Nothing that a few armed robberies
couldn't remedy. |
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Re-Enactment of Wright
Brothers' First Flight Fails
All flying machines grounded until
further notice. |
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More Nixon Tapes Released
Latest batch includes conversations with
Haldeman, Ehrlichman in 1972 at Camp
David, in 1973 in the White House, and
recently in Hell. |
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